On Becoming: Why You Can Let Go of Chasing a “Finished” Version of Yourself

You’ve probably felt the pressure to arrive — to figure it all out, define who you are, and stay there. But life doesn’t work that way. You’re not a project to be completed. You’re a person who is always becoming. And that’s not a flaw. That’s the point.

You Were Taught to Treat Growth Like a Goal

You grew up surrounded by milestones. Graduate. Get the job. Get the promotion. Fix yourself. Improve yourself. Finish the list. The world loves a before-and-after story — something clean, something final. So you try to become a version of yourself that feels “done.” Polished. Explained. Predictable.

But the more you chase that finished version, the more hollow it feels. Even when you “arrive,” there’s always another version to chase. Another thing to heal, fix, achieve. It never ends. And deep down, you know why: you were never meant to be finished.

You are a process — not a product.

You Don’t Need to Know Who You Are to Be Who You Are

There’s so much pressure to define yourself. To package your identity into a single sentence. But what if you’re allowed to be in flux? What if you’re still unfolding — and that’s not confusing, it’s beautiful?

You can wake up one day craving quiet and the next day craving movement. You can fall in love with something new, then outgrow it without shame. You can change your mind, your dreams, your pace. None of this makes you flaky. It makes you alive.

The need to “figure yourself out” often comes from fear. The need to live your life as it is — that comes from trust.

You Realize That Clarity Comes From Living, Not Labeling

When you stop trying to force clarity, something softer shows up. You begin to see that you understand yourself best when you’re in motion — not when you’re pausing to define every step.

It’s in the act of living that your identity reveals itself. The way you comfort a friend. The kind of art you return to. The mornings you build, the conversations you avoid, the rituals you crave. These are the shape of your becoming — not the labels you put on your profile.

Let your identity be discovered through how you show up, not how you describe yourself.

You Stop Mistaking Consistency for Authenticity

You don’t need to be the same person you were five years ago — or five months ago. You’re allowed to evolve, even if others don’t understand. You’re allowed to outgrow your own opinions. You’re allowed to contradict yourself. That’s not a weakness. That’s what happens when you pay attention.

The truth is, real authenticity isn’t about staying consistent. It’s about staying honest. If you pretend to be who you once were just to stay recognizable, you’re not being loyal — you’re being trapped.

Your growth will make some people uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you owe them a version of you that no longer fits.

You Learn That Growth Isn’t Always Upward — Sometimes It’s Inward

Becoming isn’t linear. Sometimes you circle back. Sometimes you go quiet. Sometimes you forget the lessons you thought you already learned. That’s okay. Progress doesn’t always look like forward motion. Sometimes, it looks like sitting still and noticing. Or pausing to grieve. Or resting until you have the energy to begin again.

This kind of growth is soft. Slow. Hidden. But it’s the most honest kind. It’s how you build a life that isn’t just impressive, but aligned.

You stop measuring progress by how far you’ve come — and start measuring it by how fully you’re showing up now.

You Redefine Success as Feeling Like Yourself

Maybe you’ve achieved things that looked good on paper but didn’t feel good in your body. Maybe you’ve performed versions of yourself that got praise but left you numb. Mihalism invites you to let go of that kind of success — the kind that disconnects you from your inner world.

Instead, you begin to define success more quietly. A day where you felt honest. A conversation where you said the hard thing. A morning where you listened to your intuition, not your calendar. These are the markers of a life that’s rooted in becoming — not arriving.

You’re not here to be finished. You’re here to be real.

You Let Grace Become Your Structure

Letting go of the finish line doesn’t mean you have no structure. It means your structure changes. You begin to build your life on grace — not pressure. Grace says: you’re allowed to begin again. You’re allowed to not know. You’re allowed to hold both doubt and hope in the same breath.

This kind of structure doesn’t push you — it holds you. It says you don’t need to prove your worth through achievement. You can live gently, bravely, curiously. You can change. You can rest. You can evolve in loops, not ladders.

And through it all, you remain worthy — because worth was never conditional on completion.

You Become the Author of Your Own Becoming

When you stop chasing a “final” version of yourself, you gain something more powerful than arrival: you gain authorship. You get to shape your life one breath at a time, with full permission to rewrite. You stop trying to meet other people’s definitions of enough, and start listening for your own.

Becoming isn’t something you finish. It’s something you practice. It’s the way you stay open. The way you learn, unlearn, and learn again. The way you return to yourself with more softness each time.

You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming — and that is more than enough.